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bren 0 of 100,000 words
It was May 9,1994 I was 2 in a half years old. One day I will never forget. The day that changed my life. I could remember that morning she came home. This day was the day I meet Amanda. Yes my sister. I was no longer an only child anymore. I no longer had the label of dads little and only girl. At first I didnâ€™t really understand what was really happening. Till Amanda came home an took over and changed my life. This was my new sister. I had just noticed I would not be the only one anymore. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it. What a bummer my first though was. It wasn't just me anymore there was this hole new person that no one knew anything about. Would they like her a whole lot better than me. Would she take over and just rule the household that had always been mine. The one place I knew I was in charged she how now entered my zone. Only time could tell how it was meant to turn out.
All I ever heard out of Amanda was crying, crying ,and more crying. I knew she was a baby, but when I got tried of all kinds of baby crying my mom would just take me home. This crying was just something I couldnâ€™t escape from. Gosh! It was all she every did I know I had my share of crying too, but man she cried from sun up to sun down and all night long. She had not even turned 1 yet. She didnâ€™t even know or need to speak yet. She was not even able to say her first word, but you knew she was there. Amanda wold always make herself known no matter where we were. She had a mouth on her and she wasn't even able to speak. I didn't even want to think about the day she would actually be able to speak.
The day had to come and it did. Amanda knew how to speak. She would just say the simple stuff like mommy, daddy, and poop some gross words. She was just learning some of the words that I had down packed, already been saying for years. She would always be talking. Most of the time you could not even understand her. Whatever popped in her head was exactly what would come out of her mouth. She was a chatter box that just spoke a totally unknown Langue.
Amanda and I were like night and day two totally different people. At times it was hard for me to believe we were related. We were just sweet and sour. We were like up and down just totally different in so many ways.
I would love playing Barbie, dressing up, wearing make up, and I would just love doing my hair. You know the more girly thing in life. Amanda was my opposite she was just so boyish. She loved playing outside getting dirty, riding bikes and just acting like a boy. I felt like I had a brother instead of a sister. Everyday she would have a new scratch or bruise or something to show she had done something dangerous, exciting and daring,. She was straight out weird . Well to me at least she was. I wanted to just shake her sometimes. Just to wake her up and tell her she
was a girl. I knew I couldnâ€™t do that so I would always just let her be her messy hair, picking at scabs, always getting dirty everywhere we would go self.
Everyone in the family could already tell she would be the wild child. The crazy and daring and rule breaking child. As I was already known for being the good girl or girly girl. I was quiet and shy. Amanda wouldn't shut up she was outgoing and loud .
I did not fully understand how a sister so unlike me. How we could ever get along at all I did later find out it could happen. It took what seemed forever but it would turn onto days, months, or even years. It took us long, but it gave us time to learn and grow from one anther. It felt like I could actually learn something from her. I know we would have our ups and downs, but I was actually happy I did have a sister for the most part. So I would finally learn lessons from her and she would learn so much more from me. She would learn so much from me because of corse I was the greatest big sister. Well only when I wanted to be a good sister I knew I was .
We lived in a light-blue house I loved that house because it was painted my favorite color. I could always remember a enormous backyard. When I say enormous I mean big. We had a jumbo swing set with a tree house, monkey bars and swings. Amanda and I would stay up all night in our tree house my dad would usually come and pick us up when we were knocked out dead asleep. That was usually around 8 oâ€™clock and he would put us in our beds. We would bring our sleeping bags games and tons of toys. We would talk about cartoons, Just about whatever little kid talk about at our age.
We had a pool too where Amanda and I always use to play mermaids or dolphin attack. Just our stupid games we made up all the time. We also had a massive dog that Amanda and I were always frightened of . Her name was Sam she was a dalmatian we thought she was so violent and meanspirited dog at any time of the day. We also had two turtles I love my turtle. Me and Amanda loved our turtles so much we named then our own names. We would always let our turtles wonder off in the front yard. While we would play and complete our cleaning process to there tank. One day we let our turtles out and we never saw them again. I felt like I wanted to cry that day. I thought they ran away. I later that day had to find out the most horrible way. That a bird took them and ate them. It was a horrifying sight for a kid my age to see. Our parents did feel bad and try to mend the pain. So our parents did buy us replacement turtles. It never did quite feel the same after that. I always remembered what happened to my dear old turtle.
My dad had even assembled us a teensy-weensy little play house in our yard. That I mostly had all to myself. Amanda just hated playing dress up or house so it was all mine. I would play for hours in that little wooden house. That was where I spent most of my time. My friends love my house because I had my own little play house to myself and my sister wanted nothing to do with it so I never had to share. Which is always a kids dream.
My mom loved plant and flowers it was just something she enjoyed .She would spend hours planting and just looking at her plants. The flowers in her garden started from the front of our house and wrapped around the hole yard. Our house stood out because of all the vibrant colors we had on our yard. We had millions of types of flowers. They would range in color, size, and shape. None of the flower my mom ever planted were the same. Our house at times felt like an endless jungle. It was crazy we had tall plants short plants. We had poky plants. sharp plants we even had some soft plants those we always my favorite. We also had trillions of colored plants, we had plant that most people didnâ€™t even know existed. Plants were Everywhere they started off outside then they somehow moved there way into every room of our house. Scary but
I love our house we had so many memories there. Exciting thing always happening from parties to family day when we would just sit around together. There was good time but of corse we also had our bad days too. Amanda and I would not get along and they all happened in our little light blue house. It was not just our house it was our boxing ring.
It was were the fighting broke out. My sister lived to annoy me that is all I think she ever did at times. When I wanted to play alone. She would just walk right in and somehow just get on my nervous. So one day she would not stop bugging me. So I decided to totally convince my sister that she needed a haircut. I also told her I would be the perfect person to give her the haircut. I told her I just needed the practice because when I grew up I wanted to be a Hairstylist. She did let me cut her hair and I chopped a lot of it off. I cut out a huge piece of hair off. To my Luck of corse my mom caught me in the act. I had played it off like I hadnâ€™t done anything wrong. I said that Amanda had totally wanted it .I told my mom she asked me and I always to what I am, asked. My mother did not believe a word I said. After that I wasnâ€™t able to do anything. It felt like I wasnâ€™t allowed to do anything for what felt like forever. For watching TV I could not go to my friends house. I couldnâ€™t even play in my little play house. I was like banned from the world. Well the only little bit of the world I knew.
I remember one day my cousin had come over and we were outside just playing with a baseball and Amanda had to get in our way she would just not leave us alone. I told her if she did not make an effort to move she was going to be hit with the ball. She had to just irritate us it was like her job. You would think she would of listened, but no she didnâ€™t. Then I just threw the ball to my cousin. The ball had totally hit her left eye. It was like the most perfect shot. The funny thing is I didnâ€™t even mean to hit her. It w2as just one of those freak accidents. Just my luck. It hit her in her eye and she dropped to the floor crying. I started crying too I was scared I knew I was in huge trouble for this one . I just knew my punishment was going to be harsh. It was all because of Amandaâ€™s stubbornness. Her eye was huge , puffy, and swollen. My mom panicked and rush her to the hospital. It just happened to be nothing to serious she had a black eye for a week. Even though the crime might of not seemed pretty bad she didnâ€™t totally get hurt. I knew my punishment would hurt me even thought. It was punishment enough to look at her eye and see what I had done and I think my mom knew that so I did not get in trouble too bad. My cousin helped me out with my punishment. We just had to clean the hole entire house a lot of work but better than being locked up in my room for years that how I saw. Amanda was always getting black eyes some how I remember the day she fell down the stair running out side they always told her never to run. She never listened she ended up getting to black eyes that day . She landed right into the two poles sticking out off the grown. I laughed at everyone would always tell her not too run I think she learned her lesson the harder way.
Wow the things I could make up. I was such a smart kid. or so I thought. Amanda finally had gotten older where I could not just tell her something and she would totally believe me it was different now. She was six in a half now and this is where the struggling begun. We fought constantly all the time I would slap her she would punch me .I would pull her hair she would scratch me .We would wrestle you name it and we would have done it. It was like a wrestling match. The our mom was the referee. All the sudden it finally hit her that she could fight back .I remember the day Amanda push me out of the car. We had an argument and I loved to have the last world. So I told her she didnâ€™t understand anything so I opened my door stuck
out my tongue towards her Then I started getting out of the car I had no clue Amanda had something up her sleeve this time . Then all the sudden my little sister pushed me out of the car. My little sister, I couldnâ€™t believe she had like challenged me she was no longer afraid of me. The power I had over was now gone this was a thing I was not use to. The car was parked and my mom was already inside. So that meant I had no evidence of this happening. All I remember is landing straight on my back. I was frantic and Amanda knew it I didnâ€™t tell my mom. I tried to be mature about it and handle it myself. I just didnâ€™t walk to Amanda for a weeks I could not even look at her so I gave her the silent treatment to the max. My mom knew something was up but she could never quite understand what. Amanda did say sorry to me everyday and she was happy I didnâ€™t our mom or dad. She just knew if I did she could of really gotten it bad. The weird thing is that is was not were the fighting ended it where it began.
When we were little there was not a day I can't remember that we didn't get into a fight. On top of all this fighting we had to share a room when all I wanted was to get as far away from her as I could. Total war would breakout when we were put into the same room. It was absolute madness. That did drive my mom and dad crazy. Imagine and we were just little kids still. Our parents though us sharing a room would bring us closer I though it did the exact opposite. I couldnâ€™t understand why they would make us spend so much time together when we had a totally extra room. That the one thing that drove me crazy is just didnâ€™t make any scene to me. Our parents were very original they would just start taking little things away like T.V. Witch was one of my favorite things. The only thing I would do is sit around all days and watch movies. Just the looniest things they would take away like eating out. Witch meant no McDonald, Burger King, In and Out just the food kids love to eat. I though that was a punishment in itself. They still wouldnâ€™t let us eat dessert it was crazy. We even werenâ€™t allowed to play outside or go swimming. It seemed liked the only things we were allowed to do was eat what every they gave us, breathe, and if we behaved good we would be able to watch educational movies. Not as great as cartoons, but it was pretty close. I would behave just for that. That was about it when we were grounded. You would think such a horrible punishment would stop us from our cruel behavior, but it didnâ€™t it never did.
Every little thing I did Amanda would be running to tell my mom she was the biggest snitch I knew. I was also a tat-o-tail but she was just totally a little brat I could not even tell her a secret she would tell the whole world. I am so glad that I didnâ€™t tell her any of my deepest darkest secrets, that would have been the worst thing I could do. The only reason why she would tell on me is because she loved seeing me get in trouble and the worst part I couldn't do anything about it.
I remember when we lost Amanda at Raging Waters. My mom couldnâ€™t find her anywhere and I had no clue where she ran off to. My mom told me it was responsibility I was young and the life of my sister is a huge responsibility for someone my age. I did freak out we went everywhere looking for. My mom looked like she would burst out in tears when we saw Amanda.. We found her with my older cousins going on all the big rides. That was one of the strangest and the most scariest thing I have ever felt. Not knowing where my sister was. I was so happy after that I felt like I found what I lost. I couldnâ€™t even imagine the thoughts going through my mothers head. It was crazy enough of what I was thinking. She could of been stolen captured hurt. Or even drowning in one of those rides and no one would have ever known she was even there. Amanda had always put the hole family through a lot of scares. That was Amanda thrills I thing at times
and getting attention of corse .That was why we were always worrying about her we never knew what crazy adventure or destruction we would go through next with her .
Like when we play dress up or house and Amanda would let me be mom which was always fun. Even when we went swimming in our pool we would play life guard or shark attack or even one of our favorites Hawaii adventures. Wow! The only things we would think of sometimes. Being a little kid was fun and I had loved the times we played in the backyard. That is when I was glad that I had a sister to share all the fun moments with. To laugh at each other It we fell or just said the stupidest things. Thing like that were what we could remember together.
There are days that you just wonder what are you doing or how did you get where you are today? Or why in the world there are these people in your life? Days I was miserable. Totally miserable life felt like a little sister was the worst thing I would ever want. The times I would tell her I hated her or I would tell her that she would just have to obey me. She would run to my mom and let it be known to her of what horrible things I said. She would change the hole story around then there I would be day after day getting yelled out and told I was wrong. All because of that little brat I had to call my sister.
This did not just happen once in a while this tend to happen every single day that I can remember. Gosh! It was like waking up and doing the same thing over and over again. Scary but you always knew what was coming and what was going to happen. Then we did have our weird day where for about a second I actually thought I loved her. Crazy hu!, while she would just sit there with her little cute gap tooth smile. The in what seemed less then a second I would remember why in the world we didnâ€™t get along.
I could remember so clear when she how she got that little gap. She has always been so stubborn and would never listen that was Amanda for you always dis obedient. She was playing on the desk swinging around on the chair. She would just be swinging back and fourth on the chair like it was some fun kiddy ride at Disneyland. After so many times of my mom telling her everyday not to do that . Then as soon as my mother left the room she was right back on swinging back and fourth on that chair. It drove me crazy how she would never ever get caught. One push to hard would finally teacher her lesson. This push was one of the hardest push I have ever seen her do. Then she ended up hitting her front tooth on the desk. Out went her front tooth. I saw the tooth fly across the room out of her mouth .It looked like a cricket shooting out of her mouth then landing and hopping away. I had nothing to say. I stood there watching in silence as all of the sudden it hit me what happened. I could no longer control myself it was like a silly cartoon u see on tv but it really happened.. I busted out with laughter. While she just sat there crying and crying . I was laughing and laughing. The first thing my mom thought was that I did something to her so first thing I get the look, like I was a criminal or guilty or something. When all Amanda should of done was to listen. Like always I get in trouble of corse for laughing. When my mother said I should of been helping my sister. It was her turn to get hit punished, time out I was waiting for something to happen anything. It was her turn to get in trouble for not listening or just something. In this crazy world. I though to myself my mother took all her anger at on me and telling me I should of told her to stop playing so close to the chair. I stood in shock , I was the oldest so she expected more from me. This mother of mine must of been crazy I didnâ€™t do anything wrongs this time but still got in trouble. I would never forget that day because Amanda had a gap to for almost five years. That day would always play back in my head. Then I would just chuckle even thought I might of got in trouble I thought it was worth it all.
Yes everyone does have their bad days but like always we seemed to have a tons of bad. I can not lie and say there was no good. There was plenty of good days when we got along like picture perfect sister. From the Brady Bunch or something.
Amanda would always be making me things witch sometimes scarred me because it meant she actually had a heart and did like me. It would creep me out at times when we would fight then she would leave me a note on my bed how I was the best sister in the world and she love me so much. Not to lie I kind of did like those note I would place them in my little box of sisterly love note. One thing I love about Amanda she always knew what I wanted for my birthday and she would tell our mom witch I knew what present were all ready coming. That was just on huge benefit I love about having a sister. If Amanda was in a good mood she would even sometimes play with me and we would so much an not fight once. I guess with all the fighting and the fun there was never a dull moments. We would all ways have our good days or a bad. Which we never knew what was to come day after day. Thatâ€™s what I think made are childhood kind of interesting. If we were going to wake up loving and caring or totally evil, rude and total brats. That was for faith to decide.
Amanda has always been flexible I guess you could call it that. She would be flipping and flopping everywhere. No one was able to stop her. Where ever she was running jumping and just trying to do what she called a flip. This is when my mom signed her up for gymnastic. She ended up to be pretty good. That she would go three day out of the week for an hour in an half. Know I though it would be a good thing because this would mean I would get an hour off of fitting or arguing. To my surprise I hated when Amanda would leave it meant I had to been home with nothing to do. Amanda and I would be playing and then she would have to go to gymnastic witch totally through off everything. I would become bored all because she had to go . I would just be counting down the minutes till Amanda got back just so we could go back to our games are play whatever we were playing before. It was weird we actually wanted to spend time with each other. I couldnâ€™t stand it so I decides to sign up for gymnastic too bad as soon as I signed up was about the same time I spotted going. It just wasnâ€™t the sport for me. It gave me head aches and I couldnâ€™t see how someone could have fun. When she wasn't home we could not even fight. That hour of the day was boring. If I wasn't home bored I would have to got sit for an hour and a half and watch her do gymnastic witch made time so much longer I hated it. The only thing I wanted to do was to go home fight, play, I would of settled for anything. It drove me crazy that I would actually be waiting for my sister everyday. She was a really good at gymnast so she move up in levels really fasts that it felt like everyday she had a new schedule.
It went form three days to four, then from one in a half hours two hours it was crazy and the time just kept getting longer. I didnâ€™t know what to do with myself anymore Amanda was know gone for what seemed like all day I had wanted my sister for once so much just to bug her or play with or even just tease her so she would have to tell on me. It kinda pulled us apart. We were no longer as close as we where. Even with the fighting it had brought us together in a way. It was weird we hardly fought now. Like we knew how to annoy each other and get on each others nervous. We became like two strangers for a while. We hardly played she was always gone .I had learned to play by myself and become a little independent in a way. Well at least it felt like she was always gone.
Amanda eventually became a really good at gymnastics. She had become really involved with her sport that I felt like I never saw her anymore . I use to wake up with Amanda and spend
the whole entire day. Then go to sleep with her. Thatâ€™s how it use to be before he found this love for a sport. Now it seemed more like just a room mate. I just never really saw her as much anymore.
It seem like it went from one day to another she was always around but we hardly saw each other saw her. I was completely tired of my sister and I didn't want anything to do with her. Believe it are not but I totally started missing her. I felt like I was an only child at time she would just never be around. I guess you could even say I started to miss our bad times. I missed the fighting, crazy hair pulling and are childish punches. I finally understood the whole part of having a sister and I kind of wanted it all back every part of it. I just started to missing the little things we would do . My mom and dad said it helped us because we finally learned how to learn to work through our hard time like with and the good times.
Don't get me wrong we still fought ,but it did get a lot better we learned how to stop a fight before it came . We were just becoming so mature. It is true that everything canâ€™t be perfect all the time but u always have to learn to take the good with the bad. One thing I did stop telling my sister was that I hated her. Even when we didn't get along I have never really hated her it was more like a dislike. Or I was just really made and wanted to hurt her feeling.
At times I would become really jealous of Amanda. We had never really had to compete before because I was older and was expected to know more. Of corse I did know for a while like more words. I was better mannered. I was taller, nicer, and smarter .Also more responsible because I was the oldest. It had always been like that I though it would stay like that to but I was wrong then there were the days she started going to school. She had always had a smart mouth that ended up showing us how really her smart her mouth was. She always asked question about every thing anything you said she would of had a question for it. She ended up being always on top of her class. A little genius I would call her she could even of done my homework if she wanted to. While I was just an average me. Amanda was totally a sporty kind of girl. She knew about almost every sport. Then she has always loved a good competition and she would always have to win of corse. When I know I was just plane lazy at times. She had become very smart the one thing she could not have was my height I had always been taller. I knew I was always going to be taller than her I had to be I was the oldest it was just like a pure fact. Then the day came she would not stop growing and she passed me. She passed me one whole centimeter. I couldn't believe it. I was in total shock. I felt like she took away everything. She had brains, she was athletic and one thing I had left was my height she had taken that too. I was scared in what she would take next. Or what she would beat me at next. She love rubbing it into my face that she was taller. She made sure I knew she was taller everyday day . We wrote are height along the door of our room and she would always tell me to measure her. I absolutely hated it. It was not enough that I had to wake up every day and see her stand next to me and be taller. She would love making it worst. It was hard to accept the fact that she was better at than me in a lot of thing that I was totally bad at. It just hurt. I could never win my little sister in anything. Imagine my little sister the one I would pick on and trick to . She now was impeccable. She would just tease and pick on me . It was just pay back I though.
I started calling Amanda the favorite child. It seem like my parents were always just so proud of her. Of corse who wouldn't be, I was even proud of her. She was like an all star child she played all types of sports and was a genius. She was a straight A's student and supper athlete.
She was always very determined on anything she set her mind to and most likely accomplish it.
It was pretty hard to live with an almost perfect sister. I always felt like my parents would one day just say why cant you be more like your younger sister. They never did say that and I knew they never would ever tell me anything. I knew they liked me for who I was it just hard to have to live with someone so flawless. So I always felt the pressure to measure up to my younger sisters standards. Like the bar was set and I would always fall little short of it.
Amanda and I did have a lot of good times together there was nights we would camp out in our tree house even when we got a little older. We would talk about everything boys our problems, school and just about anything else that would pop into our heads She was smart and it came to my advantage at times because she was always there to solve my simple problems. My sister was younger an I always felt like I could connect with her and that she could connect me. At times it was just a really good feeling just knowing she would be there for me. Even just to talk to someone when I felt like I had no one to talk to at all. She just had a our and answer that could always help and make me feel better. This was one of the things I loved about having in a sister. The moments like that when Amanda and I had gotten along where totally worth all the fighting we ever did. That was one thing I would never ever give up.
The day I remember perfectly was the day Amanda left me. I knew it almost as good as the day she was home from the hospital when she was just born. It was one of those days that I already knew something was wrong from the time I woke up. It started as a totally weird day and then ended in one of the worst day of my life. I remember waking up and just having a totally funky feeling. I ate and went on with my day like I normally had done every Sunday. Just woke up late ate breakfast watched some cartoons. My sister had woken up especially late this day she didn't even want anything to eat she seemed just lazy. She is usually very athletic and pretty hyper. She was calm, relaxed and just seemed cool. Like nothing had bother her. This was weird for Amanda. I just kept playing that day back in my head. Amanda then came into the living room and wanted to just come and change the channel. I was so tired of Amanda always doing that to me that I just went off on her. I had gotten so mad at her .I told her to leave me alone because I was watching TV . I was there first, and I made she knew that I told her. It just got on my nervous how see would think she was all big and bad so I told her words I would then later regret for ever. I told her to leave me alone and that I didn't want to have anything to do with her .I told her she should just run away because we didnâ€™t want her. That all she need to do was to go always .I had not told her anything that mean in a while I guess she was finally getting to me I had became so jealous of her. She had gotten so mad at me she ran off. The last thing I heard was a loud thump. It wasn't just a regular little fall this sounded like a pop or like something had broken too. I jumped up so fast I was scared . Usually when something like that happens I would hear Amanda cry and just walk over to her and ask her what was wrong. Then I would usually call my mom and everything would be fine. This was different and it freak me out. I heard the thump and that was all I remember hearing. No crying and no yelling for help I just hear the thump and I ran. I looked in the kitchen and I just remember seeing Amanda pasted out on the floor. The silences killed me itself I opened my eyes and there was blood everywhere I freaked out. I didn't know what to do I screamed for my mom who had already been running over towards us. I was in shock I couldn't believe that this was my sister lying there with blood flowing out of her head. My mom pushed me out of the way. I though this canâ€™t be one second we were mad and it couldnâ€™t all lead to this. I didn't say anything for a while. Sanchez P.9
The ambulance came rushing in my house. There was so many of them with all there tools they bought in. I could still hear the syrians on the car ringing. I sat there on the kitchen floor crying and crying. They said she must of had slipped and fell and her head landed right on the corner end of the table. There was red thick blood everywhere that was all I remember seeing. My mom
had it all over her it was on the floor the table around the the whole kitchen All over it was everywhere that the last thing I saw. I had never seen my moms face so serious before. This time I didn't know what to say to make it better .I had no words I went completely blank. The ambulance rushed her to the hospital they took her to argent care. My hole family was at the hospital it was almost three oâ€™clock in the morning. Everyone was sitting around in silence praying and just hopping that everything would be ok. I was speechless my family didnâ€™t know what I told her. My mom didnâ€™t even know and it was killing me inside I knew I had to tell them. I went up to my mom in the waiting room and told her what I had said to Amanda I cried. I started pouring out tears. I just keep saying sorry. My mom sat me down and told me it would be ok and that it wasn't my fault what happened. I was so ashamed of what I had said I couldnâ€™t even look at anyone. All I ever wanted to do more than ever was to just tell Amanda I was sorry for everything. My mom then made my dad take me home because the hospital wasn't meant for kids to be in she said. I was scared and my mom didn't come home early that night. There was fighting so I could not sleep at all that night. The words just kept playing in my head like a broken record. Then the more I heard them the more ashamed I was of what I had said. I cried that whole night thinking of what I had done. I felt so bad I couldnâ€™t wait for Amanda to come home I made her a card and wrote her a letter. I even picked the prettiest flowers from my momâ€™s garden for Amanda for when she got home. I wanted her to know I was sorry. This was a serious sorry.
My mom came home and didn't say much. I just already knew not to ask her anything so I stayed quiet. She ran into her room and cried I could hear her crying my dad than ran in after her. This wasn't good my mom had come home without Amanda. I had no clue what this was going to mean .Would she be at the hospital for a while, was she hurt, where was she, and how long until she comet home. That is what was running through my mind and that was all I kept asking myself. All I wanted to do more than ever was talk to Amanda and to make sure she was ok. I wanted to have a sleep over and talk about all the stuff me and her would usually talk about. I wanted to go swimming and play our stupid games. I just wanted to see her so we could even sing our stupid songs. Or just her to tease me about how she is already taller than me by a whole centimeter. I just need her there so I could feel better so this feeling would be gone. I need Amanda and she left me. The feeling that come over me was different like I had lost something.
My dad had came in my room he didn't even have to say anything I already knew whatever he told me was going to be bad I could tell from the minute he walked in. My mom was usually the one that would talk to me if there was a problem or something. She was the only one who knew how to talk to us in a way we would completely understand. This time she sent my dad because she had no clue how to tell me. That was a bad sign to start off with and that was what frightened me the most. The things my dad told me was nothing I wanted to hear. He started talking and my body just stopped functioning. The world that hit me were words I wish no one would ever have to hear. Your sisters gone. She was gone, gone like in dead. That meant I would never be able to speak to her see her or hear her again. I cried and I cried and cried. I couldn't believe that the last word I had told Amanda was that I didn't want anything to do with her. My card I had made my flowers I had picked didnâ€™t mean anything anymore she would never get to
see them and never get to hear how sorry I was. It didnâ€™t matter she was gone. Nothing matter anymore. She was gone and I didnâ€™t know how to go on what to do or say.
I thought of Amanda and of the last thing I told her I wished I could of taken every word back. I knew I couldn't. That was killed me the most inside. The fact that she would never get to here my sorry.
That day I would of done anything to get one more minute or second with her. I took it hard I just keep telling everyone Amanda would be back and not to worry. I couldnâ€™t imagine how my parents were taking it there perfect child was now gone and the relationship between me and Amanda had now ended when she left me. Why now. Why her couldn't this just be a simple accident. The kinds of accidents she would just get up from. Then my mom would tell me not to tell my sister harsh things like that. I wish this was one of those times it wasn't. Amanda was dead and there was nothing my mom, dad, or I could do. That meant the all star straight A's student, athlete, daughter was gone. The one person we knew would go far with her determination, hard work, and love for life. Had now left this world in the worst way. She had so much going for her and then she just left.
I love Amanda she had done more with her life in the time she spent hear more than a lot of people have done in there entire lives and my parents where always so proud of her. They pushed her to be the best person she could be and she was. I had always looked up to her I was always trying to be more like her. She was like a role model. She showed me what was good and bad, from right and wrong. I had missed her so much. I truly finally realized the things Amanda taught me. She taught me to be the best me I could ever be. Even when I was mad or sad.
I though I was the one Amanda looked up to ,but I was wrong she was my hero. She was the only one I looked up to and wanted to be like. I had just realized it . She ended up making me who I wanted to be today. I would always feel like I could never be her but I should always just be the best me. She love me and it showed . I never realized it but we need each other more than we could ever really need someone.
About a couple days later it was the day of Amanda's funeral it was miserable. I just couldn't stand it. Everyone that Amanda and I had ever know was there. I mean every person we had ever saw in our whole lives was at the funeral. Then every person that was there had to come up to me, and just tell me how sorry they were. My mom told me I would give each person the dirtiest looks she said it was horrible. No one told me anything because of corse I had just lost my sister. I just could not understand how all those people could be sorry for me . I felt horrible, like I was the murder. I didn't want their sympathy I felt like I didn't deserve it or want it. I hated when people felt sorry for me. I though it was just a act like poor you and I hated feeling like that. I told my mom the day of the funeral that I was sorry for putting her through this pain, sorry for hurting Amanda as much as I did. All she did was start to cry and I did the same. That day was so gloomy I do not remember smiling once that day. Everyone would tell me just remember the good time that Amanda and I had together . I thought it was the worst thing to do. It made it harder .I remember getting into trouble with Amanda. From her braking her tooth all the good times we had. I had taken out all the cards Amanda had ever made me telling me how I was the greatest sister. That mad it so much harder. I couldnâ€™t understand how people that didnâ€™t know Amanda like I did, could tell me how to feel better. I spent every night and day with her and people would tell me how sorry they were for me . I felt sorry for them because they would never get the chance to know Amanda the way I did. It just reminded me of the last words I had ever
The people that came to my house to just help out didn't make it any better at all. I felt
like a guilty criminal being interrogated about everything I did. They would just keep asking questions. when all I wanted was to be left alone. I knew if they did leave me alone all I would think about is every mean or horrible thing I had done to Amanda. Which would just start to kill me inside even more and I knew I couldn't handle that. Before I had always had someone there The one person I needed there the most wasnâ€™t. I felt like I realized her importance a little to late. She had changed me for the good I promised myself and knew I would never and could never forget about a great person and sister like that.
When people would just stop by to say sorry it felt like an interrogation. I totally disliked it but it was probably a lot better then just being alone. So I tried to put up with it as best as I could.
I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I felt lost like I had been captured and thrown into a totally new environment that I had on clue how to live in. I felt like I would just never be able to adapt to this new world and way of living. My body was numb my heart hurt and my soul burned. I now didn't understand the world I though I knew so well. It suddenly changed into in to nothing I knew at all. The only thing I knew about the world was from her .She was gone and now I felt like I knew nothing. So her name just kept running through my head.
I couldn't function I didn't know how. The fighting with my sister was what I missed the most out of everything. Hard to believe after everything we have gone through.
That was it, it was now over there was nothing I could do. Life as what I knew has changed for the worst. That fight was the last fight I would ever have with my sister again in my life. I didn't know how to live with it. It was one of those things you had to move on with, but I just didnâ€™t have any clue of what I was going to do or how I would ever move with everything.
Are days where up and down after that. I cried a lot after that. My parents fought on and off because of Amanda pasting. I thought of Amanda every single day. We would go to Amanda's grave every single day for a while. We would go to see her every birthday and holiday. We would bring her tons of flowers bunch of gifts and leave her tons of cards. It was hectic. We would have fun making her thing for her birthday and special occasions but it was never the same as her being with us. I finally started to calm down I kept a lot to myself for a while. There was days I needed to talk to Amanda and it hurt so much to know she was not there .She wouldnâ€™t be there for the advice I need to hear from her. She left and that is when I knew I had go grow up. I actually also missed when Amanda would make fun of me whenever I tripped or fell over. I didn't even have anyone to tell my lame jokes too anymore.
My mom and I became a lot closer we would go out and have tons of girls days out we would just have fun. I always felt like Amanda missed out and all I wanted was her to be there with us. Me and my mom hardly fought after Amanda died. We promised each other that we would not waste our time on all the bad because it was a waste of time. It was more important to focus on the good times. That we had together.
We went to church every Sunday as a memory of Amanda and I prayed a lot . I prayed about very day. I dreamed of Amanda all the time. I thought every morning I would wake up and just hope she was there. I knew she wouldn't be there when I woke up, but I never thought it hurt to just hope and pray. I grew up I had my trouble years and my fight with my parents it was crazy , sad, and fun all at once it was good year I did want my sister by my side so much. I had my
rebellious days too , but I got through them. I can say that I was always thinking about Amanda. Even though she was not there Amanda helped me get through some of the hardest days. Just the thought of her helped me in so many ways. I was so happy I got to be in her life, but I was the lucky one because I got her in my life .She was my hero and I was so happy that I got into every fight I did with her . I would always think about our millions of little fights and I realized each fight I had taken something from it and learned. I learned and Amanda was teaching me so much and I didn't even know it. I think Amanda knew what she was doing all long she was preparing me for my life and she knew it. Life came with good and bad and she taught me a little bit of both. I think Amanda knew she would make such a big impact in my life. She contribute so much to my life she was there for everything she was my partner and crime and my worst enemy at the same time . She was like my best friend we could have so much fun together, but at the same time when I was mad I could just tell her off because I knew at the end
of it all she would still be there. She would still be there because she was my one and only sister she was the only thing I could ever ask for. The most important person in my life . I just hope she knew that because. I think we both knew it of corse. She influenced me in ways people might never get to feel.
When I was little I remember hearing this quote "The best thing about having a sister is that you will always have a best friend" I never though this was true. Now I look back and I noticed she was my only best friend. The one person I could trust, cry with or even just go crazy with it was her my sister . It wasnâ€™t hard to realized the one person I though I regretted. It happened to be the one person I knew I could not live without. People always say you don't appreciate thing in your life until they are gone. I back that up a one-hundred percent. Honestly who goose around asking for what they all ready have . People always want what they don't have and that is when people have to step back and appreciate things they do.
I learned to live a good life and my parents are so proud of me and what I have become the person I am. They are proud of me and Amanda. I had already done so much with my life and I knew it was because Amanda had influenced me in many ways. My parents were proud of Amanda. Even though she was gone they know the impact she had was huge. She made one life like mine so much better. They knew she had already made a difference in the time she was here. Amanda accomplished so much in her short time of living who wouldn't be proud of her everyone was.
I always made it know and to the world of how proud I was to have her. I couldnâ€™t wait to have kids and share everything that ever happened with me and Amanda with them all it was the ups and downs goods and bad . That was the fun of it never ever knowing what was coming next. I would always remind who ever I meet about my sister and how great of a person she was. that was the least I could do out of everything she had ever done for me.
Amanda and I didn't get along for a while . We did learn to work it out. Well that was a lesson in itself learned how to deal it people that annoyed me so much. I learned to deal with difference one day at a time. I accepted people for who they are and what they have to offer. That was my only hope for people to do the same. I would teach my future kids to learn the importance of life like Amanda did. She was her best at anything should would do she rather her have people expect more than less. I only regret I have is the fact that I was one of the only lives she able to change . She didn't get a chance to impact as many people as she could of Sanchez P.13
I think that is why I am here to show and share what Amanda couldnâ€™t show and share with other
Life is good there is no obstacle you can't over come. Things happen for a reason. The reason is there it my not turn out how you would want it to ,but everything is always there even if you don't want to see it. I was happy I had a chance to recognized a true hero and an overall great person. People Are always going to come and go in and out of your life. So all you can do is just take the good from each of them to make yourself a better person . That is all you can ask for. People see good and bad everyday. I know I contributed to both the good and bad. I loved my life and everyone who is in it and I thank Amanda for each and everyday she was there. Time can only tell how you are meant to be so just always be the person you want to be viewed as the one that will make a lasting in pierson because that is all you have a chance to do. A help yourself and help others.
Life is short so take it for what it is and will be. You never know how your life will turn out so appreciate the people around you everyday. Appreciate the things you have. The just have respect and take every thing for what it is not what it could have been. The end!